INTERVIEW WITH TERRY GRANDCHESTOR

by Miss Rétro
(translated by Mr. Pops)

Miss Retro: *talking live on TV camera* Ladies and gentlemen, we are now live from Pony's Home, whose mission for the past 30 years has been to function as a full-autonomy Senior Home. Today we will meet one of the oldest men in America, Terruce G. Grandchestor, who is celebrating his 104 year old birthday. *pointing her microphone to an old man with long white hair* Mr. Grandchestor, did you already believe that you will live until this day?

Terry: *talking loudly, causing the sound technician to jump from his seat* WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! CAN YOU REPEAT THAT...

Miss Retro: PLEASE PLUG YOUR HEARING AIDS, MR. GRANDCHESTOR! SO I WAS SAYING...

Terry: HELLO! I'm not deaf! BTW, why do you want to meet me? Just because I'm so old? I'm not the only one, you know! There is Archie, this old senile man near the window *pointing to Archie*. And you can also meet his wife Annie, who slipped on the ice and hurt her leg and...

Miss Retro: *feeling uncomfortable* Uhhh! Another question! What do you think about the fact that you are the most loved character of the CandyCandy story?

Terry: *pretending to misunderstand* I don't know what you're talking about. I mostly played in theaters and in some movies during my long and wonderful life, but I never acted in a TV series! *smirks, eyes lighting up* However, I did meet a very pretty young girl and her name is "Candy"...

Miss Retro: *now nosy* BTW, we all want to know what happened after that!

Terry: *still pretending not to know* After? What do you mean... after?

Miss Retro: *large sweatdrops* Uhhh... Did you meet her again after your break up? I mean, when you chose Susannah and...

Terry: *shocked* HEY! How do you know so much about my private life! *laughing loudly*

Miss Retro: *rushing* Quickly, please! There's only a few minutes before the TV news...

Terry: That's not my problem! This story, uuhhhh... Ooops! *catching back his words* So, if this story was told, it would only show a smart part of my life! You know what I mean? Now just imagine what happened next... *using a confident voice* But if I tell you everything, I can tell you that...

A voice in an other room could be heard: Terry!! Please help me! I dropped it!

Terry: Sorry! My wife is calling for me! I'll tell you more next time... *sitting up, walking to the kitchen with a stick* I'm coming! You missed it again, didn't you? You'll never be a good cook... *his voice still echoing in the hall*

In the kitchen, some red mud spots were spilled on the floor, the walls, the doors, the electric oven and on the ceiling too.

Terry: *looking at the disaster* GOOD GOD! What happened?

Miss Retro: *following him* It smells like burned spaghetti sauce.

An old woman with long curly hair is laughing: I mixed up the salt and the baking soda. And because tomatoes are acid...

Terry: Candy !!! You're really a hazardous person... OOPS! The journalist is still here.

Candy: Aha! Who made the biggest mistake now??

Miss Retro: *happy tears* Ah! I know it! I'm so happy!

Candy and Terry: OH NO! Another CCFWCCTB! (CandyCandy Fan Who Cried when Candy and Terry Broke up) We've already had enough of this!

Miss Rétro: *begging on her knees* Please!!! Tell me how you came together again!!!

Terry: Should we tell her? She already knows too much! *worried voice* Perhaps we must get rid of her like all the others...

Miss Retro: *more large sweatdrops* What? You want to get rid of me?

Candy: Don't listen to him! He likes to tease *looking at her husband*. You know, we could tell her everything in only two or three sentences... I know that she would never tell anyone.

Miss Retro: *keeping her spycam hidden* I promise it! *crossing her fingers*

Candy: First, let's all sit down. My back is hurting me. *pulls out some chairs loudly*

Miss Retro: *can't wait anymore* So, how was your reunion?

Terry: It's Albert's fault!

Candy: After Alistair's death, I became very close to Albert. One day, he asked me to marry him. Up until the last moment, I believed that I would say yes. But I couldn't do that because he was still like a brother to me.

Terry: One day, I think it was on April 1917, I met Albert who was on a business trip. I asked him for some news about Candy. He told me sadly that she was free. When I asked him, he told me too that he asked her to marry him and she never wanted to. It was a huge shock to me. I couldn't believe that some other guy would want to marry her. During this time, I was still with Susannah, but since she thought that I would be with her forever, she started to leave me. You know about this thing" "I want something and when I got it, I don't want it anymore!" She fell in love with a pretty young actor and I did all that I could for them to meet as often as they wanted. On April 1917, I was at the point breaking up with her. And in June, she married him. It was the most beautiful day in my life!

Miss Retro: But when did you and Candy meet again?

Terry: During May 1917. I was in Chicago for a tour. Incidentally, it was her birthday that week. Archibald and Annie thought it would be good to bring her to the theater to see me play. But my first comedy was a flop. I didn't want to go to the reception after that, but I went anyway. And Candy was there!

Candy: At this time, I was still living in Pony's Home and going to the theater was a very special time for me. I couldn't decline that, even if I was a bit afraid. I was sure that I'd meet him. I thought that he was already married to Susannah.

Terry: So I took the first step and I played some music with my harmonica. Those prestigious people were shocked, but it made Candy smile! That was all that I wanted.

Candy: After that, we talked like old friends all night. Time flew so fast than Archie had to stop us at 3:00 in the morning!

Terry: I promised her that I would meet her again at Pony's Home when I'll be in vacation. Unfortunately, I still worked for many weeks. And because of the Conscription, I could be shipped to the War anytime. But nobody knew if I was a Britain or an American. Both countries asked me to enroll. I was so blurred in myself! I didn't know what to do. So I chose to go, but it was to make the soldiers laugh.

Miss Retro: So you didn't meet Candy again until this night?

Terry: *blurred* Uhh! I don't remember!

Candy: *angry* What? You forgot? How could you?!! *trying to calm herself down* He went to see me in July. I read in a magazine that Susannah was married to this guy but I don't remember his name. This Saturday that we met was a hot day and I brought the children to the river. Suddenly Terry arrived and he saw me in an old swimsuit. I wanted to be invisible under the water!

Terry: *remembering* But you were so beautiful! This swimsuit was so worn-out that it became transparent when it was wet and...

Candy: STOP IT!

Terry: *laughing* Okay!

Miss Retro: So, what happened on this day?

Terry: She put on a towel and I told her that I wanted to swim too. But because I didn't have a swimsuit, the kids plunged me with all my clothes into the water! We had so much fun! After that I told her about my project in the War and she agreed. She came to the New York port to say goodbye to me some months later.

Miss Retro: Mrs. Grandchestor, how could you let him go?

Candy: I could not keep him with me. He didn't want to kill people. He wanted to make them laugh when they needed it the most. I also needed some time to be far away from him to realize that I still loved him though I didn't realize it! We wrote frequently to one another until he returned to the States. And when I met him again, he embraced me so hard and so tight that I realized that he never loved anyone else but me.

Miss Retro: *huge happy sigh* That's a such a romantic story! *resuming her professional voice* About your wedding? Your children? And your grandchildren?

Terry: You ask too much questions!

Miss Retro: *hoping that they wouldn't find her spycam* It's my job! *looking nervously into her bag*

Terry: You're still looking in your bag. What could be inside? A small pet?

Candy: *still nice and polite* Please, eat dearest!

Miss Retro: Uuh! No! It's not polite, you're not eating.

Terry: Don't be foolish! We are old but we don't care about these old good manners!

Miss Retro: *more large sweatdrops* Please! You make me feel bad.

Candy: So, we will eat with you!

Terry: It's a deal! But I COOK! *making loud noises in the kitchen*

Miss Retro: Uuh! Where is the bathroom, please?

Candy: At the end of the hall...

Miss Retro: Thanks!

After walking nervously away, a door closes and a window opens.

Miss Retro: *thinking* Good God! What can I do now? *zipper sound* Okie! *returns to the kitchen, sits down and takes out her lunch*

Candy: Humm! You have some fruitcake!

Miss Retro: Do you want a piece?

Candy: *looking sad* No thanks! I cannot eat that. I'm a diabetic now, you know...

Terry: *looking at a strange thing in Miss Retro's blouse* What! A connection cable... BUT... What the heck is that? A small box with a lens and a microphine... You're spying on us?!!

Miss Retro: *lies* OH NO! It's a small CD player!

Candy: What? A strange thing that plays some music?

Miss Retro: ALRIGHT THEN! I'll tell you the truth! I spied you. But please, understand me! I did it for all your fans that like you both and...

Terry and Candy: GOSH! No mysteries now! The truth was told! What can Kyoko Mizuki do now that her fans know the ending?

Miss Retro: *having some remorse* I KNOW! I could make us believe that I just wrote a fanfic!!!

THE END!

© (2001) Miss Retro