Susanna Marlowe's First Session with Dr. Tracy

by Bulma-chan

(Disclaimer: Dr. Tracy is a character created by David. E. Kelley for the comedy TV series, "Ally McBeal")

Dr. Tracy stares at Susanna and Susanna stares back at her, slightly annoyed.



Sussie: Is that a joke? (points at a sign on the desk that says 'No discounts are granted for bringing your own chair')

Dr. Tracy: Do I look like I’m joking? (continues staring at the girl)

Sussie: What are you doing?

Dr. Tracy: Well I could say that I’m singing the cha-cha-cha, but would you believe me?

Sussie: You’re staring at me...

Dr. Tracy: Bravo! (takes notes and murmurs) Then she does have a brain inside that melon head!

Sussie: Why were you staring at me?

Dr. Tracy: I was mentally counting how long it was going to take before you started moaning, crying and complaining because that hottie from Broadway doesn’t love you.

Susana looks at her and tears come out of her eyes.

Dr. Tracy: (stops her chronometer) Mmmh... that’s a new record (writes more notes).

Sussie: You’re making fun of me ! I love him so much that I’d give my life for him!

Dr. Tracy: Aa-ha.

Sussie: Yes and I can prove it because I had an accident…. Blah blah blah bla.. (starts telling her story with Terry and how she lost her leg)

After a lot of crying that practically flooded the office, and after 10 boxes of Kleenix only used by Sussie and lots more sobbing, her story is suddenly interrupted.

Dr. Tracy: Damn you!!! (her attention is to her lap and Sussie can’t really see what’s happening)

Sussie: Doctor? What’s wrong? I thought you were taking notes?

Dr. Tracy: (shows her cel phone to Sussie) Taking notes? Are you crazy? If I wanted to have something like that in my files I’d go and buy one of those books with Fabio on the cover! I was actually playing on my phone but that damn martian killed my spaceship!

Sussie: I thought I was paying for this hour of therapy and not for you to be playing games?

Dr. Tracy: Ok then… stand up and let me take a look at you and I’ll tell you what your problem is.

Sussie: I can’t!

Dr. Tracy: (taking notes) Not comfortable with her body...

Sussie: Don’t be cruel with me, remember I told you I only have one leg!

Dr. Tracy: Ah you’re right Maria Magdalena, and you’re an actress right? Thirty years ago you could’ve applied for the 6 Million Dollar Woman’s role but I think it’s taken now… Have you tried X-men 3? Oh but I don’t think they have a mutant with the skills of flooding a place with tears!

Sussie: I’m going to tell my mother about you!

Dr. Tracy: (writes ‘threatens doctor’) Mmh I think you’re the worst of the whole lot of the CC world, even worse than the DSD President! At least she’s not a spoiled brat. Why are you here anyway?

Sussie: I heard you were also treating Terry and I wanted you to help me get his love. Does he talk about me in the therapies? (stars and hearts in her eyes)

Dr. Tracy: (presses secret red button and her secretary calls her immediately on the phone) Oh I see, okay, I’ll take the call. Sussie dear, I have an important matter to talk on the phone and for today we’re done with our session. Anyway I’ll recommend you to other specialists to see your case because I think I'm not that strong…

Sussie: (stomps one feet on the ground) No, I want you as my therapist and to help me with Terry!

Dr. Tracy: Okay, okay, now go! I have somebody waiting on the phone.

After Susana left, she hung up the phone and walked to the next room murmuring: "Why did I have to return from my vacation just to fall in the same CC madness of years ago???"… She opens the door and sees her bishies. "Okay boys, Sussie of Arc exhausted me with her crying, which one of you is going to massage my shoulders and feet??"