Susanna Marlowe's First Session with Dr. Tracy
(Disclaimer: Dr. Tracy is a character created by David. E. Kelley for the comedy TV series, "Ally McBeal")
stares at Susanna and Susanna stares back at her, slightly annoyed.
Sussie: Is that a joke? (points at a sign on the desk that says 'No discounts are granted for bringing your own chair')
Dr. Tracy: Do I look like Iím joking? (continues staring at the girl)
Sussie: What are you doing?
Dr. Tracy: Well I could say that Iím singing the cha-cha-cha, but would you believe me?
Sussie: Youíre staring at me...
Dr. Tracy: Bravo! (takes notes and murmurs) Then she does have a brain inside that melon head!
Sussie: Why were you staring at me?
Dr. Tracy: I was mentally counting how long it was going to take before you started moaning, crying and complaining because that hottie from Broadway doesnít love you.
Susana looks at her and tears come out of her eyes.
Dr. Tracy: (stops her chronometer) Mmmh... thatís a new record (writes more notes).
Sussie: Youíre making fun of me ! I love him so much that Iíd give my life for him!
Dr. Tracy: Aa-ha.
Sussie: Yes and I can prove it because I had an accidentÖ. Blah blah blah bla.. (starts telling her story with Terry and how she lost her leg)
After a lot of crying that practically flooded the office, and after 10 boxes of Kleenix only used by Sussie and lots more sobbing, her story is suddenly interrupted.
Dr. Tracy: Damn you!!! (her attention is to her lap and Sussie canít really see whatís happening)
Sussie: Doctor? Whatís wrong? I thought you were taking notes?
Dr. Tracy: (shows her cel phone to Sussie) Taking notes? Are you crazy? If I wanted to have something like that in my files Iíd go and buy one of those books with Fabio on the cover! I was actually playing on my phone but that damn martian killed my spaceship!
Sussie: I thought I was paying for this hour of therapy and not for you to be playing games?
Dr. Tracy: Ok thenÖ stand up and let me take a look at you and Iíll tell you what your problem is.
Sussie: I canít!
Dr. Tracy: (taking notes) Not comfortable with her body...
Sussie: Donít be cruel with me, remember I told you I only have one leg!
Dr. Tracy: Ah youíre right Maria Magdalena, and youíre an actress right? Thirty years ago you couldíve applied for the 6 Million Dollar Womanís role but I think itís taken nowÖ Have you tried X-men 3? Oh but I donít think they have a mutant with the skills of flooding a place with tears!
Sussie: Iím going to tell my mother about you!
Dr. Tracy: (writes Ďthreatens doctorí) Mmh I think youíre the worst of the whole lot of the CC world, even worse than the DSD President! At least sheís not a spoiled brat. Why are you here anyway?
Sussie: I heard you were also treating Terry and I wanted you to help me get his love. Does he talk about me in the therapies? (stars and hearts in her eyes)
Dr. Tracy: (presses secret red button and her secretary calls her immediately on the phone) Oh I see, okay, Iíll take the call. Sussie dear, I have an important matter to talk on the phone and for today weíre done with our session. Anyway Iíll recommend you to other specialists to see your case because I think I'm not that strongÖ
Sussie: (stomps one feet on the ground) No, I want you as my therapist and to help me with Terry!
Dr. Tracy: Okay, okay, now go! I have somebody waiting on the phone.
After Susana left, she hung up the phone and walked to the next room murmuring: "Why did I have to return from my vacation just to fall in the same CC madness of years ago???"Ö She opens the door and sees her bishies. "Okay boys, Sussie of Arc exhausted me with her crying, which one of you is going to massage my shoulders and feet??"