Chapter 13
    (translated by vasaki 2177, edited by Terry for ever!)

    It was getting darker and Trey was still outside Mandy’s ward. He was still not allowed to go near her, not even for a little while. The only things he could see from the distance he was at, were the devices around her. A respiratory oxygen tube and beside her the monitor that showed her heartbeat. As long as the machine showed that her heartbeat was stable, Trey was relieved. The idea that her heart might stop at some point terrified him.

    He turned his head and saw Sanny who was approaching him accompanied by another woman. Her expression was blank. Her hair was rather long and extremely black. He couldn’t quite define her age. He was sure she was over forty. She wore black clothes, a long shawl and some weird accessories. Some colourful necklaces were hanging from her neck and a verticillate star drew his attention immediately.
    She was piercing him with her eyes and Trey had to turn his gaze elsewhere for a while. They reached him and Sanny made the introductions.

    -“Trey, this is Maya”. Said Sanny. Trey extended his hand for a loose handshake but Maya didn’t . She kept staring at him.

    -“You’re exactly how she described you” she told him. “ Now I begin to understand things clearly”.

    -“I don’t understand.” Replied Trey. Maya passed over him and she looked at Mandy who looked rather dead. Surely her soul wasn’t in this world any more. Maya knew she had to talk to Trey, she had a lot to say to him.

    She kept looking at Mandy for a while. Then she turned her back and headed to the end of the hallway. Trey approached Sanny in wonder.

    -“She’s very strange.”

    -“Yes, she is.” Said Sanny.

    A few minutes later Maya returned. She looked at Trey even more intensely and took his hand.

    -“Would you like us to talk in private?” she asked him.

    -“Yes, I would.” Said Trey and followed her.

    Maya walked with him to the small park like she knew from the first moment that he wanted to be there all the time. It was true; Trey
    couldn’t stand the narrow suffocating halls of the hospital. They sat on a bench and he took a cigarette out of the packet.

    -“Why don’t you play the harmonica instead?” Maya asked him and took the cigarette out of his hand. Trey looked at her surprised.

    -“You know everything about us, don’t you?”

    -“I know only what I have to know” she said tersely.

    -“I want to know everything. I want to know why my woman is in there in that condition about to die?”

    -“I think you already know the answer to that.” Said Maya

    -“Why are you playing with me? Are you having fun?” he asked her.

    -“I’m not having fun at all. I’m just an observer.”

    -“I don’t understand.” Said Terry in despair and took another cigarette out of the packet.

    -“Ok,” said Maya “ I’ll play the game by your rules.”

    -“I’m not playing any games. I think you’re playing games with us. This is what you did to Mandy and now she’s in that condition.”

    -“Don’t blame me. If you want to blame somebody I think you know very well who to blame.”

    -“You’re referring me, aren’t you?”

    -“Listen to me. For once, it would be nice if one of you could see past the surface.”

    -“You’re talking in riddles.” Said Trey and started to get really irritated with this woman.

    -“All right then. Why do you think Mandy wanted to end her life?” she asked him.

    -“That’s exactly the point. There was no reason for her to do something like that. And she was never a coward. I don’t think a simple fight would be capable of making her do that.”

    -“I never said that a simple fight would cause that. “ She paused to look at him for a while, she turned her sight elsewhere and started to say what she had to say as simple as she could. “ For every man, for every soul, there is a scheme, a plan.” She said

    -“Who makes that plan? Who decides?”

    -“There is no answer to that. From the begging of mankind history repeats itself. Every creature is looking for its other half.”

    -“You mean Mandy and me …”

    -“Do you need me to tell you that? What do you think?”

    -“I love Mandy. I loved her from the first moment I saw her. I can’t explain that, but it’s true.”

    -“Doesn’t that make you wonder? Didn’t you feel you already knew her? That you had seen her before?”

    -“Yes. I did. Like every normal person feels for the one his in love with.”

    -“Put aside logic in this story.” She said and took his hand in hers. She looked at his palm and caressed softly his lifelines.

    -“Here, everything is written here.” She said.

    -“All this time, I’m trying to understand, but…”

    -“What Mandy is trying to do right now, is to change fate. Have you ever thought that Gods are rolling dices over human souls and betting on them?” she asked him.

    As time passed Trey started to think that this woman was crazy.

    -“I don’t understand a word.” He replied to her.

    -“Fate is predefined. So Gods are betting on how humans can go against it. Most of the times they win. Mandy is the bravest person I’ve ever known. She went against fate, against death. She is trying with all her might to change it all.”

    -“Why don’t you say clearly what you want to say?”

    -“The only thing I can say to you is that she is with you right now. I don’t know if she will make it back. But I can assure you everything has changed. Everything.”

    -“What has changed? What if something bad happens to her…”

    -“I know it would be like you’re dying. It was like that the last time, wasn’t it?” Trey looked at her in the eyes. He couldn’t understand what she was saying but he knew he had felt this way before.

    -“With your behaviour, you made Mandy go to the place she is now. She could see your sorrow in the past life. It was impossible for her to watch it in this one.”

    -“Is it true that Mandy … Candy died at a young age?”

    -“Yes. It’s true.”

    -“Are you saying that the same thing will happen again now?”

    -“I don’t know, really, I don’t.”

    -“I feel more confused than before.”

    -“ I have nothing more to say. If the eyes of your soul are open all this time I’m sure you have understood me. One last thing. The woman that is all around you lately, keep an eye on her.”

    -“Tell me about her. What does the plan have for her.”

    -“She doesn’t have a plan. She doesn’t have an existence. She has always the same purpose and she keeps repeating it.”

    -“What must I do about her?”

    -“Listen to your heart about her and don’t hold back no matter what happens. Time has pasted and I have to go now.” She told him.

    -“Is it true that you never get out of your house?”

    -“Did Sanny tell you that? “

    -“Yes.”

    -“Tell her she better watch her moves with Arthur.” She told him and laughed. She took a step to leave. Trey grabbed her by the hand, he opened her palm.

    -“Lets see what does the plan say about you.” He told her and then he noticed she didn’t have any lifelines. It was smooth, there was nothing there. He looked at her almost terrified.

    -“What is wrong? Are you afraid of me?”

    -“ No, but what does that mean? Who were you in your previous life?”

    -“ For some a Saint, for others a Witch. They used to believe I was a martyr, sent by God. Which one do you prefer better?”

    -“ Do you think this is some kind of game?”

    -“On the contrary. It’s exactly because things are so serious that I would suggest you would finally open your eyes and look in front of you.”

    -“I had some strange experiences. It happened to me… I mean, I saw Mandy and me and Anna, probably in our past lives.”

    -“I know. How did you feel about that? You still can’t believe it?”

    -“I believe it.”

    -“If you would believe it truly you would have found the solution. You don’t need me any more. I must go now.” She said again.

    -“Maya…” said Trey. “ Even your name is odd.”

    -“Do you know any Greek?” She asked him.

    -“No.”

    -“This word means “magic” and if you take out the first letter “Saint”. Which one do you prefer?”

    -“You give me the impression you’re not from this world.” Said Trey illatively.

    -“The one who made you, gave you a lot of gifts. Make sure from now on that you won’t make the same mistakes. You now know better.” She told him and walked slowly towards the exit. Trey saw her disappear little by little until she faded away.

    ***********

    As time was passing by, Trey felt more and more confused. He was trying for quite some time to solve the puzzle the woman he had met earlier gave him. It was already very late and he was alone outside Mandy’s ward. He was checking on her very frequently. Her heart kept beating and that gave him some hope. He hadn’t had the heart to call her parents yet. He was hoping that Mandy would get well soon. Maybe all it would take was a miracle but Trey didn’t know to which God he should pray to.
    Sanny and Arthur had left the hospital not long ago. They had spent all their day in there and although Sanny didn’t want to leave, Trey managed to talk her in to it at last.

    -“You’re tired. You don’t have to stay here any longer. I’ll stay.” He had told her.

    -“No, I can’t leave her alone.” Said Sanny crying. “Mandy and I are like sisters. I can’t leave.”

    -“You better go rest. If something happens I’ll let you know right away. I’m sure that this is what she would want you to do.” Trey insisted.

    Sanny thought about it and came to the conclusion that Trey was right.

    It was like she was hearing her.

    “Sanny! You’ll get sick in the end. You don’t have to worry so much about me.” And then she was smiling at her.

    -“Ok.” Said Sanny. “I’ll go home for a while and take a shower. But I’ll come back as soon as I feel the need to do it.” Arthur, who hadn’t let her off his sight all day, took her by the hand and they headed towards the exit.

    Now, Trey was alone and desperate. A huge silence had covered all the corridors of the hospital. He wasn’t allowed to see her yet, not even for a moment. He wanted to talk to her, tell her he loved her. He heard the stories about how people in coma could hear what their loved ones were saying. Already so many unreal things had happened. Why this wouldn’t be true? He was still trying to find answers to many questions. The woman he had met earlier had made him more confused. If it was true that Mandy and he had met in a previous life and had been separated in an ugly way, why would this had to repeat itself? He would never leave Mandy for another. Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice at the back a familiar figure approaching him. For a moment he thought his eyes were deluding him but he was now sure that this was Anna walking towards him. She was next to him and looked at him straight in the eyes.

    -“Trey…” She said disappointed.

    -“What are you doing here? Didn’t I tell you not to bother me any more?” Said Trey raising his voice.

    A nurse who heard the commotion walked towards them.

    -“Please, sir. If you want to make a fuss take it outside, please.” Said the nurse and went back to her duties.

    -“I want you to leave.” Said Trey.

    -“Please. Lets go out for a moment. I want to talk to you.”

    Trey thought that if he didn’t do what she was asking of him she would create trouble.

    -“Ok. Only for ten minutes.” He answered her.

    They went to the little park of the hospital.

    -“ I’m listening.” He said to her.

    -“Why don’t you come to the theatre?” She asked him.

    -“How can you ask me something like that? The person I love more than my own life is in critical condition and…”

    -“She’s dying!” She yelled at him.” Why don’t you say it? Why don’t you admit it at last?” Trey was left speechless.

    -“I can’t understand what’s wrong with you.” Said Trey. “ I doubt you’re crazy. I guess you’re just evil.”

    -“Why am I evil? Is it because I love you?” she asked him.

    -“The person who loves doesn’t impose himself doesn’t blackmail. Love is a pure sentiment. Your obsession with me doesn’t sound like love at all.” answered Trey harshly.

    -“You may not see it but I love you more than her. I would give my life for you.” She told him.

    -“No.” answered Trey. “ You would give your life to capture me. You would give your life to satisfy your ego. This is not love. You better leave.” He told her again.

    -“Trey, please.” She said with tears in her eyes. “ It’s all over anyway.”

    -“Nothing is over.” He yelled at her. “ As long as she lives and breaths, as long as her heart beats she’s still alive.”

    -“You’re just trying to convince yourself but it’s no use.”

    -“Go away.” Screamed Trey. “ Go away before I loose control of my actions.” He said and left for the hospital entrance. He went up to Mandy’s floor. He looked through the window of the ward. She looked calm and serene. Her heartbeats were steady.

    “Mandy. Please. Don’t leave me.” He said in a weak voice. He leaned on the wall exhausted.” Don’t let her win this time. Don’t do her the favour.”

    *********

    Arthur filled the tab with hot water and was trying to help Sanny take of her clothes. During their way back home she was silent and deadpan. He was sure that a bath would relax her. He started to unbutton her little by little but she didn’t respond at all. He managed to fully undress her and then he lifted her up in his arms and put her in the tab. He took the sponge and tried to make her feel better, when she suddenly burst to hysterical tears. Arthur didn’t know what to do to make her calm down.

    -“Don’t be like that. You’ll see, everything is going to be all right.” He told her. She wasn’t speaking though. She brought her legs to her breastbone and curled up around herself.

    -“Mandy…” She said while tears kept on running down her cheeks.

    -“You have to calm down. Crying won’t get you anywhere.” Said Arthur. But she seemed she wasn’t listening. “ She’s still alive.” He added and then only did she pay attention to his words.

    -“Mandy and I grew up together.” She said.” I still remember the day she was adopted. Although we had to be separated I was happy for her. It didn’t take long and we met again. I was lucky to be her friend. I would say she’s like my sister. And now I can’t do anything to help her.”

    -“Yes, you can.” Said Arthur. “I thought you were stronger.”

    -“I ‘m not strong.” Shouted Sanny. “I was never strong. I have always been weak and tried desperately to show everybody that I could manage it on my own. Mandy was always the strong one without even trying.”

    -“Are you jealous of her?” Asked Arthur.

    -“I don’t know… sometimes it’s easy to mix up your feelings. I love her. Perhaps the only thing I felt jealous of was her relationship with Trey. Nobody has ever looked at me the way he looks at her. Nobody has adored me.” She said.

    -“Why are you doing this to yourself? Did you give anyone the chance or where you hiding behind your own fears?”
    Sanny didn’t know what to reply. This conversation was very tiring and the timing was not right at that moment.

    -“Arthur. Thank you for everything you have done for me today. I think you had better leave now.” She told him. “ Like you said I’m strong enough.” I will manage.”

    -“I will leave if this is what you want me to do. But before I leave I want you to know that I really care about you. Let yourself go. Take a risk, God damn it.”

    He yelled and threw the sponge in the tab. He got up from the floor and he left the bathroom. Sanny too got out. She grabbed a towel that was hugging next to her and she followed him.

    -“What are you trying to say? Say it clearly.” She ordered him.

    -“Nobody worshiped you ‘cause you never let anyone do it. Nobody looked at you with love because you were afraid to look the one who would do it in the eyes. You think you are not worth anything. You have demoted yourself to zero. Get that.” He told her.

    -“You don’t know anything about me.”

    -“But I do know everything about you. Since the day you came to the store and bought that brooch, I’ve learnt everything about you.” He said hesitatingly.

    -“You’re saying you were following me?”

    -“I’m saying I love you.” He told her like it was the simplest words in the world. Sanny stayed still, looking at him speechless.

    -“You don’t love me. You can’t love me.” Said Sanny holding her head.

    -“Why can’t I? Who says so?”

    -“You love Mandy.” Sanny said.

    -“I love you. From the first moment I saw you.” For a moment, a crazy thought crossed her mind. In her previous life Arthur had met Mandy first. But in this one he had met her first. Could this have played a part? Maya had told her she had a second chance this time.

    -“How do you feel about me?” Asked Arthur.

    -“I don’t know.” Said Sanny and covered her face with her palms. Arthur pulled her hands down and made her look at him straight in the eyes.

    -“Look at me and tell me how you feel.”

    -“I feel something I can’t explain.” Said Sanny.

    -“Why are you so insecure? What’s wrong? Is it because they adopted Mandy instead of you?” Sanny was looking at him shocked. How did he know so many details?

    -“Yes!” She yelled through her tears. “It has always been her. I was never worth anything…” she said and kept on crying. Arthur held her and squeezed her tight.

    -“Calm down.” He told her and he caressed her hair. “Feeling this way doesn’t make you a bad person. I love you even though you don’t believe it.”

    -“Why do you love me?” she asked looking him in the eyes.

    -“I love you cause you worth it. Believe in yourself. Believe in you.” He told her. Sanny closed her eyes and tried to calm down.

    -“I don’t want anything bad to happen to Mandy.” She said.

    -“I know.”

    They stayed like that hugging each other without saying anything. Afterwards Arthur took her to bed to sleep and he stayed with her sleepless, watching over her. Arthur didn’t know whether there was a fate, a plan or a previous life. There were only feelings that had overwhelmed his heart. Feelings he couldn’t define where they came from. But they were enough to help Sanny heal her wounds.

    ***********

    From the kitchen’s window, Mrs Miller saw her daughter heading towards the house, looking upset. She run to the door to welcome her but she walked past her like she wasn’t there.

    -“Anna, Anna child, what is going on?” her mother asked, but Anna was already headed to her room, she wanted to be alone.

    -“Anna. Please, open the door.” Her mother insisted knocking the door.

    -“Mother, please, leave me alone.” She answered through her sobs.

    -“Don’t you understand, child, that I’m worried? What happened and you’re acting like that?”

    -“I want you to leave me alone.” Anna screamed and Mrs Miller understood that things were more serious than she imagined.

    -“Anna, if you are having a crisis I must call the doctor. You do understand that, don’t you?”

    Only then did Anna open the door. She was flustered –red, her hair in a mess, tears in her eyes and in a shock.

    -“What did they do to you my child?” she asked in panic.

    -“Please mother. Don’t call the doctor. There is nothing wrong with me.” Said Anna trying to calm her down.

    -“At least tell me what happened. Would you like some tea?”

    -“ Yes.” Said Anna. “ Tea would be nice, thank you.”

    Mrs Miller went straight to the kitchen and made her daughter’s favourite flavour of tea. It was a rare strawberry flavour variety.
    She heard her after a few minutes coming down the stairs and she sat on a chair across her. She poured her tea, hoping she would tell her what was that that had upset her so much.
    Anna put two spoons of sugar and started stirring. She noticed how her mother was watching her every move. She had to control herself so that she wouldn’t understand that she had started taking the pills again. She shouldn’t realise that she had a nervous breakdown.

    -“Anna.” Her mother said and took her hand with anxiety. “What is wrong my child?”

    -“The premier was put off.” Said Anna.

    -“Why?”

    -“A friend of Trey is very sick.”

    -“Then why did they put it off?”

    -“I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

    Lately she had confessed to her mother that she was having an affair with her co-star. Mrs Miller had asked to meet Trey but Anna had told her that she had to be a little patient. Now she was telling her that the premier was put off because a friend of Trey was sick. She couldn’t understand a thing.

    -“Is her condition serious?” asked Mrs Miller in concern.

    -“She’s dying.” Answered Anna completely satisfied. Mrs Miller was starting to realise that Anna’s state of mind was starting to be disturbed. When she had been sick in the past, she didn’t respond at all. The doctor had said that she was refusing to face reality and therefore she had given up and denied her own existence. But lately her behaviour was different. She had outbreaks and blowups that were incontrollable. Mrs Miller had spoken many times on the telephone with Anna’s doctor but he didn’t seem to worry much. Nevertheless he had asked to see her insistently but Anna didn’t even want to hear about it, she got mad. Since she had the role in the theatre she seemed better although her psychological changes had filled Mrs Miller with worry.

    -“Anna. It’s not good when someone is dying. The way you say it makes me believe….”

    -“Why is that wrong?” She yelled. “ So many people die every day and nobody cares. So what if another one dies? What???” She asked her intensely and the laughed out loud. “ I’m telling you nothing will happen. And Trey will be free and only then will he realise how much I love him. This is my only chance. If she doesn’t die, then I will make it happen by my own hands.” She said and laughed again.
    Mrs Miller was left with her mouth open. What her daughter was saying to her was an outrage. She had to find a way to calm her down.

    -“Anna did you lie to me about having a relationship with that man?”

    -“I didn’t lie to you.” She yelled and started crying again. “I have never lied to you. We really have a relationship. I know him and he knows me from for ever.” Anna repeated and with her hand she started to twist her fingers nervously in the locks of her hair.

    -“My child, you’re out of your senses. I don’t understand what you’re saying to me.” Said Mrs Miller calmly.

    -“Why doesn’t anyone understand me when I speak? What is it that you don’t understand?” She told her hitting her foot stubbornly on the floor.

    -“You say you know this man since forever… How can this be…” Anna’s eyes were like burning nails now. The more Mrs Miller was keep talking the more upset Anna was getting.

    -“Enough.” She said and hit her hand on the table. “You don’t know anything about me. You’re a looser. You couldn’t even hold on to my father. You’re incapable of doing anything right.”

    This was not the first time she was uttering these bitter words to her. Mrs Miller felt like she was stabbed in the heart. Every time Anna wasn’t content with a situation this was the first thing she would say to her. She was holding her responsible for her father’s scurry.
    Anna got up and went back to her room. Mrs Miller realised that she definitely had to call the doctor. Maybe this was something she ought to have done already. Before she could even blink she saw Anna running storming out of her room. She was out in the street and nobody could catch her. In a desperate attempt she run after her and started to yell at her.

    -“Anna….Annaaaaaa! Come back please.” She was trying in vain since she was already far away. Tears filled Mrs Miller’s eyes. She remembered the day her daughter was wandering around the streets with her dancing shoes on. When they finally found her she threw them in the fireplace and burned them. After that afternoon she hadn’t spoken for a long time. She had to admit it. Her daughter was crazy. It was too late for her to save her.

    **********

    Without even noticing, Trey had fallen asleep in the corridor, outside Mandy’s ward. He woke up suddenly and tried to figure out were he was. He remembered all the tragic events that had occurred that day. He went again outside Mandy’s ward and looked at her. She was exactly like he had left her. Her heartbeats were steady and she was pale and motionless. He stood there looking at her contemplating on the beautiful moments they had lived together. He remembered their first meeting in that visit on the Mauritania. Then their first official date.

    After a while he remembered himself unpacking his things to move to her house. He was so happy then. Their common life was filled with love and understanding. Lately it was a nightmare and for the both if them. Since the first night Mandy woke up scared when she had seen that nightmare. He couldn’t imagine how things were going to turn out. He just needed some time for his professional career. When he was over with that play he would have asked her to marry him. But now everything had changed and there was no light in the horizon to give him some hope. For a while there was a child between them and that made his pain more unbearable. If she had talked to him about it he would have given up everything else. She might have not believed him but he didn’t love his career more than her. Trey could have given his life for her. He thought for a while that if he could trade his life for Mandy’s he would have done it without a second thought.

    A cold wind swept the place and Trey looked at the opposite direction of the corridor. A young nurse was coming towards him. She approached him and looked at him with a smile. She was quite young, with thick brown hair. Her presence was warm and serene. Trey already liked her.

    -“Excuse me sir.” She told him. “I have to take care of the lady.” She walked pass him and opened the door.

    -“Come on in.” She encouraged him.

    -“Are you sure? The doctor…”

    -“Don’t worry about it. Come on in.” she reassured him.

    Trey approached shyly and stood right next to his beloved. She was serene like an angel sleeping. He held her hand softly and kissed her fingertips. The nurse kept on doing her job, like he wasn’t there. He saw her putting some kind of medicine in the tube on her wrist.

    -“What is that?” Asked Trey.

    -“Don’t worry Sir. It’s for the lady to feel better.”

    Trey thought to himself that this might insinuate that Mandy still felt some things. She was still alive, he established that all the time and he had to believe in it. He wanted to speak to her, to confess everything, everything he felt but the nurse’s presence was making him reluctant. Like she heard his thoughts, she told him:

    -“I’ll be back in a moment. Stay with her a little longer if you wish.” Then she got out of the room and Trey was alone with Mandy.

    The sound of the cardiograph was thud and dull but every time he heard her heart beat Trey was relieved. He took her hand again and he looked at her closed eyes. He wished she would open her green emerald eyes and look at him like she used to. Sometimes it’s difficult to appreciate the simple things that happen in life. But when they cease to exist, then one discovers their intolerable absence. He took her hand and opened her palm. He put it on his face wishing that this touch would make her understand how he felt.

    -“Mandy… Come back to me.” He said desperately. “I want to see you again… I want you to get well and everything will be fine. I promise you, I will never doubt you again. Forgive me.” He pleaded and tears had wet his face. “Forgive me for all I’ve done, for all you’ve suffered because of me… and not just now…” He said reluctantly.

    As much as he pleaded her she didn’t respond. Her wrists were wrapped with layers of white gauze. The wounds she had made herself were long healed. But those that had nested in her soul were still open and Trey could do nothing to heal them. He had no more words to say to her. He was afraid that as time went by she was slipping away further from him. And he didn’t know what to do to save her.

    The young nurse returned slowly to the room and she went by the devices that supported Mandy’s breathing. Then she turned to him and she looked at him with a smile.

    -“Are you ok? Is everything ok?” She asked him. Trey thought that she was the first person from the personnel that didn’t look at him sullenly. Obviously everybody else thought she would die. However this girl was giving him a different impression and she had let him see Mandy, when the doctor had rigidly forbidden that. Is it that she didn’t know the gravity if her situation? Like she had read his mind, she asked him directly.

    -“But, why are you so sad?” Trey told her as simple and as coldly as he could.

    -“They told me she would die. That she has no chance…” he continued bitterly.

    -“Who said that?” Asked the nurse.

    -“The doctors.” Said Trey and lowered his glance.

    -“And how can a doctor know of such things?” She asked him in the most natural way. Trey looked at her and tried to understand the question she was asking him. This woman seemed to be from another world. Maybe she was part of the personnel responsible for the moral support for those who entered such situations. He kept on looking at her trying to make sense.

    -“Is it possible for a doctor to know God’s plans?” she continued.

    Trey looked at her with his mouth open. He was tired of listening all day constantly about fate, Gods’ plans, miracles, past lives and everything supernatural one could think of. He would rather not give any kind of response. The woman felt his despair and approached him.

    -“ Listen to me.” She told him in a low voice. “You really love her, don’t you?”

    -“I love her more than my self.” Trey said.

    -“This love alone could be able to save her.” The young nurse added.

    -“I don’t know what I should do. I would do anything for her. Anything.” He repeated.

    -“You already have.” She told him looking at him intensely in the eyes.

    Trey couldn’t understand the meaning of her words.

    -“It’s late and you should go rest.” She told him then.

    -“ an’t I stay with her a little longer?”

    -“When was the last time you prayed?” She asked him. Trey was taken by surprise by that question. He didn’t expect to hear something like that.

    -“To which God should I pray?” he asked her. “Tell me and I’ll do it.”

    -“To the one that’s inside you.” She simply told him.

    Trey hadn’t understood anything and followed her out of the ward. He saw her disappear in the background and after a few minutes he was alone again. He took a last glimpse of Mandy and without second thoughts he headed towards the chapel of the hospital. Truly, he didn’t know which God was in him. What he knew was that his hopes hadn’t died yet.

    **********

    He was in the dark and empty chapel and immediately he felt a chill through his body. It was late at night and nobody was there. Some forgotten lit candles flickered and made the frescos come alive. Trey felt awe and fear at the same time. He kneeled on the ground, crossed his hands and started to pray silently. Maybe it was ironic to ask from a God he never believed in before to save his beloved one. But this was his last hope. He didn’t know if there was a God and until that day he hadn’t thought seriously about that before. While he was totally concentrated on his prayer, he heard footsteps behind him, back in the temple. He saw a middle-aged priest heading towards the chancel. He got up and approached him.

    -“What is wrong my child?” wondered the priest.

    -“I want to confess.” Said Trey.

    -“At this hour?”

    -“Yes.” He insisted. “I have never done this in my entire life and maybe this would be the last time too.”

    The priest looked at him for a while and instantly he asked him to follow him. He guided him to the confessional and waited patiently.

    -“I’m listening. What is that burdens you and you want to get it out of you? What happened to you?”

    -“I feel like I’m carrying a weight that doesn’t belong to me. Like I have to do something to save someone else’s life and mine as well.”

    -“I don’t understand you. Try to explain this to me.”

    -“I love a woman who I fell like I know for all my life. I knew her before I met her. Someone told me I had met her before in a past life. I feel exactly like that.” The priest moved in his seat trying to understand what exactly the young man across him was trying to tell him. He made no comments.

    -“Please, go on.”

    -“The church considers suicide as a sin, doesn’t it?” Asked Trey.

    -“Yes.” Answered at one word the priest.

    -“The woman I love tried to kill herself. And she did it because she couldn’t bear the misery that was coming. Because she had been through it before.” Yet again the priest didn’t reply. He didn’t know which one would be the best answer.

    -“If she dies, I’ll kill myself too.” Trey simply said. “And I don’t feel like I’m committing a sin. I can’t live alone a whole eternity again.” Trey didn’t know where the words coming from his mouth came from.” God is cruel and unfair…” He said and he was all on fire. “And I won’t accept his judgement.” The priest opened the window between them and looked Trey in the eyes.

    -“Hatred has crawled into your heart. But why? What went wrong?”

    -“I blame God for being unfair. He doesn’t do his job well. We have been through enough and I came here to ask him to leave us alone at last.” Said Trey. Under different circumstances father Lester would have thought that this man in front of him was crazy. But something kept telling him that he was wrong.

    -“Do you believe that God has done you wrong? He asked him.

    -“Yes.” Said Trey.

    -“Then maybe he will listen to you now that you have come here to tell him yourself.” Trey didn’t know why, but he felt great relief. He had confessed all his misery and suffering exactly like he felt it. He felt justified because he had expressed his feelings without being afraid anymore.

    -“I want to marry her.” Said Trey. “I want her to be my wife before it’s too late.”

    -“I don’t understand.” Asked father Lester.

    -“I want to marry the woman I love.” He said and lowered his head.

    -“What condition is that woman in?” he asked him.

    -“She’s in a coma. The doctors don’t give her any chance.”

    -“Then what is the point of a marriage that doesn’t stand? Legally no wedding can be performed if one can’t express he’s will freely. You know that something like that can’t happen.”

    -“Doesn’t it mean something in the eyes of God? I don’t care about the legal part. I want the blessing that she’s my wife and I’m her husband.” The priest looked at him in wonder. This man looked like he was sent by God to teach him a moral lesson.

    -“OK, I will do it. We will have a proper ceremony.” After the priest’s last words Trey felt complete. He didn’t need to stay there any more. He headed towards the exit and when he reached the doorway he turned to father Lester.

    -“In the morning, at dawn.” He told him.

    -“I will be there.” Agreed the priest.

    Then he went out to the night air relieved from every pain. Without knowing why he was sure he had done the right thing. A huge weight was lifted from his soul and now he felt as free as a bird. He closed his eyes and he lit up a cigarette. In his mind words and images were starting to run…


    Ah! dear Juliet, 104
    Why art thou yet so fair? Shall I believe
    That unsubstantial Death is amorous,
    And that the lean abhorred monster keeps
    Thee here in dark to be his paramour? 108
    For fear of that I still will stay with thee,
    And never from this palace of dim night
    Depart again: here, here will I remain
    With worms that are thy chambermaids; O! here 112
    Will I set up my everlasting rest,
    And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars
    From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!
    Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you 116
    The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
    A dateless bargain to engrossing death!
    Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
    Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on 120
    The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!
    Here’s to my love! [Drinks.] O true apothecary!
    Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.

    Romeo and Juliet, Shakespear


    LEONARDO: I too would leave you if I thought as they do. But I’ll go where you go. You too. Take a step. Come. Splinters of moonlight pierce my waist and your hips.

    Federico García Lorca Blood Wedding

    *********

    It was morning and Candy woke up in the arms of her beloved. She was watching him while he still slept. She flicked her eyelashes as images from the night before were overwhelming her thoughts. She hadn’t regretted for a second the decisions she had made. For the first time in her life she felt complete and happy. Terry’s little bed, was barely enough for them hugging each other. Fortunately Candy was petite. She thought that this was her chance to make him breakfast. She had dreamt about it so many times. She made a move to get out of bed and he opened his eyes.

    -“Good morning. Where are you going?” he asked her.

    -“I want to make you breakfast.” Said Candy smiling.

    -“We don’t have much time. There is so much we must do today.” He told her.

    There was a big question mark in Candy’s face but she didn’t answer. Certainly they had still a lot to talk about and she hoped they would soon find the time to share it all.

    -“In a few hours I must go to the theatre again.” Said Terry.

    -“ I understand. I’ll find something to keep me busy here.” Said Candy and regaled him with one of her playful smiles.

    She tried to get out of bed again but Terry stopped her.

    -“Wait a while. I want to talk.” He told her and he looked at her with a serious tone. This look reminded her of that day in Scotland when he stared at her in the eyes before he give her, their first kiss. A knot had stood in her throat. There was an inexplicable fear in her still.

    -“Candy…” he hesitated. “ I love you and I want you to be my wife.” He said in a low voice looking in her eyes. Candy never expected to hear something like that. She was surprised and it was the first time she didn’t have anything to say.

    -“Terry we don’t need to rush. I mean, I …”

    -“I would have asked you anyway, when you came here for the premier. I have saved some money.” He told her shyly.

    -“All this time in the letters you wrote me, you never mentioned something like that. I don’t want you to think that because… “Candy couldn’t finish her sentence.

    -“I love you and you love me. Have you already forgotten your promise? Just yesterday you promised me you would stay here with me forever.”

    -“Of course I’ll stay, but…”

    -“But?”

    -“I came here all of the sudden and maybe we are rushing. We stayed away from each other for so long. Maybe it’s not right to take such decisions in a hurry.”

    -“Listen to me for a while.” He said and he took her hands. “It’s true. We stayed away from each other for so long for no reason at all. I won’t stand living without you not even for another day. We made so many mistakes in the past. I want us to get married today.” Terry repeated with absolute sobriety.

    Candy couldn’t hold back her tears anymore.

    -“Are you sure?” she asked him.

    -“I’m absolutely sure. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you. You are my whole life and if I accomplished anything I ought it to you.”

    -“I didn’t do anything.” Candy said.

    -“You did, like you always do for everyone. But it’s time to put an end to our mishaps.”

    He leaned and he kissed her softly on the hair. Her tears had wet her cheeks. Candy had never felt such a big thrill in her entire life until that moment.

    -“I want to marry you.” Said Candy. “ I love you like I never loved anyone else and nor will I ever love anyone else like that.”

    -“ I know my love. I know. I’m the happiest man in the world.” Yelled Terry. “ We don’t have time to loose. Let’s go to church today and get married.”

    -“Why such a rush? I mean, I always dreamt that my friends and Miss Pony and sister Maria would be by my side at my wedding.”

    -“Candy, I know how much you love them but we only have a few days before the premiere. Then the shows will last for a long time and who knows how long it will take us. We can’t stay unwedded.”

    That was true. She remembered how many problems she had in the past when she was living with Albert and they weren’t lovers, on the contrary. Albert has always been like a brother to Candy. Things here were clearer and everybody knew that Terry was her boyfriend. If she stayed with him, under the same roof for such a long time, unwedded, a storm would arose. If the news travelled to Great Aunt Elroy, this time she would be banished from the family forever. And Candy didn’t care much about Aunt Elroy. But she didn’t want to create scandals around Great Uncle William’s name, who had helped her so much.

    On the other hand, if people knew that Terry accommodated his girlfriend there, there might be problems with his career, and it had just started. He was right. They had to get married as soon as possible.

    -“Ok.” Said Candy. “Lets get married today. I’m sure everybody will understand. Besides what they want from me is to be happy. Isn’t that right?”

    -“Don’t worry my love, you’ll see that everything will be fine.” He told her and he hugged her. “Lets not waste any more time. We must get to the city and get you a ring.” He told her and he lifted her chin. He put his lips on hers giving her a tender kiss.

    -“I don’t have a dress for the wedding.” Said Candy.

    -“I’m sure we can buy a very pretty one.” Said Terry happily looking her in the eyes.

    -“It’s ok, I can wear one I already got.”

    -“No. We’ll buy one just for the occasion.” Terry insisted.

    -“ Who will marry us at the last minute?”

    -“Don’t worry, there is a small chapel not far from here. Lately, many young couples get married because of the war.”

    -“Yes…” Said Candy sadly.

    -“What is wrong?”

    -“ t’s … the war scares me lately and …”

    -“ here is no reason to be afraid of anything. I’ll never leave you alone, ever again.” Said Terry and hugged her. “And you’ll never leave me either. I need you. I love you.” He told her again.

    -“Me too Terry. I love you too. I don’t want to be away from you any longer.”

    But there was something more. Something that Candy didn’t know yet what it was. She felt a threat on the air around them. She was sceptical and she wished everything would turn out fine. Terry got out of bed and started to make some tea. Candy followed him with a feeling of fear nested in her heart.

    -“What is it?” he asked her, for he understood immediately that something bothered her.

    -“I’m scared Terry. I’m scared.” Candy repeated.

    -“What is that you’re afraid of?” he said as he approached her. He got near her and he kneeled beside her by the bed.

    -“I have a bad feeling that something bad is going to happen to us. This is why I came. I had a bad dream.”

    -“What kind of dream?” he asked in true concern. Candy didn’t want to tell him.

    -“Can you promise me that whatever happens we will face it together?” she asked him desperately.

    -“This is what I intend to do for the rest of my life. I’ll promise you that forever when we’ll exchange our vows in a while.” Candy believed him. She hugged him and stayed there for a while so as to feel that what she was living was real.

    ************

    Later on the young couple was in the centre of the city. Candy chose a simple white dress; she would wear on her wedding. Terry managed to buy Candy a golden ring with his savings. He had to spend everything he had gathered with difficulty all this time to buy the wedding rings. He would sell all his belongings in order to marry Candy right away. They got outside the little chapel and Terry approached the priest who was there at that time cleaning up.

    -“What can I do for you?” he asked them in concern.

    -“We would like for you to marry us.” Said Terry.

    -“Young man, are you leaving to go to the war?” Asked the priest sulking.

    -“No.” he answered frankly. “But please. We have to get married today.”

    The priest didn’t seem to understand the reason of their rush but he had no reason not to perform the wedding.

    -“Ok. I’ll marry you.” With these words Candy and Terry felt great relief.

    Candy went to the next room of the church and put on her dress by herself. She had a small bouquet of daisies on her hands they had bought from a cheap flower shop of New York. She wanted so much to have one of her closest people near her. She shouldn’t be ungrateful. Her closest person from now on would be Terry. The man she loved with all the power of her soul. This was the happiest day of her life. She went out with shy steps and there she faced Terry and the priest who were waiting for her. She saw him looking at her, with a tender smile, drawn on his lips. That moment she promised herself she would never be afraid ever again. She took a deep breath and felt gratitude that she was allowed to live this day. She walked towards them ready to vow in the eyes of God, eternal love to her dear one.

    Chapter 14 (to be continued)