Never Ending Story
by Seo June Young
(Translated by Bird)
"I was sorry not to let go of these hands. I didn't let you leave even though I knew in my selfish mind that I made it hard for you. I should have respected your mind if I loved you. Forgive me for being selfish. And grant me this last wish, Terry. My last selfish wish."
The cold snow announced itself and fell continuously. A small light brightening the dark sky was losing its color more and more.
One man walked under the dark. Hiding his face in a muffler, he was filled with grief, loneliness, and complicated thoughts.
The man turned his back without saying anything. What remained was his will to meet someone. He walked, looking ahead without looking back from where he had been.
A human is a lonely animal that can't live alone. So humans meet a lot of people, break up and meet again. In this karma, people love each other, get hurt and stand and walk their way again. So are people strong because people live lonely lives?
Another man's death... this woman who had seen so many deaths, still lives...
She always smiled and cried, loved and met people whose karma had been given to her. Her man died 5 years ago. In her mind, her man was a great man who loved nature and people. When he saw the poor people, he couldn't pass them by. He was a kind and warm person.
Her eyes were filled with tears after having seen his picture. She couldn't control the tears because it reminded her of the times that she was with him. It was the happiest times, the most memorable times. He was a very beautiful man who loved her first and said he would protect her with honor. His death remains in the people's remembrance.
"Terry.." Suddenly she thought of the man who loved her the second.
She couldn't forget this very beautiful man who taught her love's sweetness and pain. She hit upon a man who really loved her at that time, not a man who had shared with her over half of her life. But at that time, she believed there was a woman for him. Because of that, she stopped thinking about him and stared at the children who sat in their seats and slept in the room.
Full of mischief and freckles. She felt like her young days. Even their attitude that they didn't put on a quilt looked like her in cold days!
She dried her tears and reached to put on a quilt again, after sufficiently staring at it. In winter, the snow was blowing and falling. They didn't know when the spring would come.
"Did I wake up late?"
She couldn't sleep well and so she sat up slowly in her bed.
The children were already playing with snowballs outside. She was curious if they had breakfast and washed and she quickly told them, but only got snow thrown at her.
"Haha! Candy teacher run after me! Everybody run away!"
She ran after them, having made a lump of snowball with a playful attitude with an innocent smile.
The children ran away, shouting "Haha!" while she chased them. Her eyes were filled with happiness.
Time went by and that afternoon, after she made lunch, she saw some letters for her. The first letter was from her best friend, Annie. She found out that Annie was coming to Pony's Home with Archie this weekend.
After reading the letter, she felt happy and smiled with pleasure. She moved to the next letter.
It was a letter from a woman whom knew her very well. A woman who was very beautiful and strong and lost her leg in order to protect a lovely man. It was Susanna Marlowe's letter.
She would normally open it, but she didn't want to read the letter because of last night's remembrance and weird feeling. But she considered the writer's mind and a friend, so she moved to tear open and read the letter.
How are you? I haven't sent a letter for a long time. Sorry. In fact, I was a little sick. The reason I'm writing suddenly is that I want to express my apology and appreciation. In the past, I made you and Terry break up, even though I knew you and Terry loved each other. At that time, I was very pleased you conceded Terry. I am also grateful to Terry who took care of me. But I found that what I did was evil to you and Terry as time went by. I was love's obstacle to you and Terry. I pretended not to know your mind only for my own mind. At that time, I thought only you conceded Terry to me but it didn't seem to be.
Ms. Candy. You made me live. I still remember your voice when you said, 'Live!' when I tried killing myself. I don't know if you remember it, but I remember it exactly. At that time, I thought Terry was only my way to life. But it wasn't. You know, people grow up and stand up through hurt and suffering. I only faced one of many sufferings. But I missed a chance to stand up and be able to go forward, receiving a resting place. But I don't regret it! I really loved Terry. I was very pleased he stood by me. Of course his mind always stood by you. The time that he was with me together made me happy and it was very precious. Ah, I have to tell you something that I really want to say. Candy. I really want to convey to you how sorry I am. The last time, you said someday we will become grandmothers and have a conversation, to remind us of the old story. But I will not do that. Candy, I really want to express my appreciation and apology to you again. I hope you will be always happy.
The letter ended.
When Candy read the end of the letter, she felt the pain again. She, who had stared at only one man. Candy was reminded of an old story, having read a letter filled with her love that she protected Terrius, the lovely man and lost her legs.
She couldn't control the memory that she really loved him again.
Maybe they saw her tears?
The children anxiously stared at Candy. She urgently dried her tears because of the children's voices. And then she reached them and said, "Let's play together at Pony's Hill," smiling on them.
The snow didn't melt yet and more snow fell upon snow again. The children who were crazy over snow threw it and played with each other. They raised a little shout 'Wow' and jumped about. Candy who had seen these scenes for some time, stood on Pony's Hill and remained the old again.
Anthony... who wanted to come here together but didn't.
Terry... who stood on here alone.
And Albert who smiled on Candy who cried here and said Candy's smile was more beautiful.
All of them lived as time flew by.
There were many works. There were really many works. There were mad, unforgettable works. We wanted to grab it, but finally time fled and we repeated meeting and breaking up. We cried and smiled a lot as the time flowed. We cried because lost a lover and smiled because we met a lover. We cried and smiled, really loving all of them.
This meeting caused suffering at one time. Even we though not meeting was better than being hurt.
She turned her face to the direction of the sound.
There stood a man that had very nice long brown hair, who didn't want to break up but did, and she really, really loved him.
"Five years had passed since Albert died. He always left with a clean smile but couldn't return. But I think he doesn't such regret it because he was with nature which he liked and died helping others. I believe Albert is happy."
They talked about a person who had lived with more than each other's story. They talked naturally about their stories, but a strange gap prevented them from having a friendly conversation.
"She died, smiling. Candy, she was grateful to you. She died, smiling."
"She died. Susanna died also..."
Time fleetingly went by.
"A lover, a friend who is precious. A person who didn't know. All of them passed in the flow of time. I cried in this flow. I cried because I missed and felt sad. Living is very strange. Meeting and breaking up with someone is very beautiful and sad, as we live. There was the time that was frustrating after we said our farewells. But at that time, someone announced. And I thought we could meet if we lived. A lover's death gave more pain and it tore at my mind. I felt the pain alot so I thought I wanted to kill myself once. I really want to be with him, not to live more. But at that time, someone announced. And I thought a flower fell and greatly bloomed, people died and survived in mind. If we don't forget a lover in our mind, the person lives continuously. If we love, then we'll have instant karma and value meeting in lots of karmas. We can love even death."
"You and I met again, Candy. I thought we wouldn't meet like this again."
"If we live, we can meet." This word was really true. He stood by Candy.
"Live, Candy. We are still alive."
Living people live hard while merging even dead people's share. We don't know when life will end, we are only honest when meeting and life always gives, in order not to regret.
"Anthony, Stear, Albert also live."
"Yes, all of them live."
Time flies like the wind but my mind of loving someone stays only at one place. If someone doesn't forget them, they will live in our minds forever.
Candy placed her hands on her breast and spoke, closing her eyes. Terry pulled her shoulders to him.
"There is our future to our children."
Terry smiled at the laughing children who was having a snowball fight under Pony's Hill. Candy saw it for some time and turn her head towards Terry. There was Terry that she loved at her younger days.
He still stared at her with a kind and great smile. His eyes still conveyed love to her.
She was so happy that she cried. These tears fell on the ground and made the snow melt. Soon the spring will come. The letters that Candy stopped reading were piled up at Pony's house. In one of them, there was a small note that Candy couldn't read yet in Susanna's letter:
P.S: Go to Pony's hill. There is something that I have to return to you.