How Do You Feel About Me?

by Liberty

Chapter 1: A Lost Love…

“It’s strange to explain this but…I wish that for one moment in your life you would notice me and only me, that you would smile only for me and that your cute face would shine only in front of me… Is that too much to ask?”

“I would wish that you would wait for me in front of the school and that you would hold hands with me… This is the picture that I dream of us…But it’s really too much to ask for, isn’t it?”

*****************

- Candy! Candy come over here a sec would you?

- Huh?...

- Were you sleeping again? Daydreaming? What?

- Well it is the break isn’t it?

- Come on sleepy head, principal Sullivan wants to see all the class presidents of our school to decide on the trip that we are going to take.

- Oh yes, the meeting!

“And as I’m crossing the hallway I wish that you would look towards me for an instance, smile at me and say “hi”…Is that too much to ask for?”

- Are you looking at Alex again?

- Wh-what?

- Candy, you like him right?

- Mary, that’s nonsense. I do not like him, like him… I just think that he is kind of good-looking…

- Yeap that’s the fact that every girl in our school believes to…

- And besides, even if I did like him he would never notice me right?

- Sorry, I didn’t hear what you were saying.

- I-I didn’t say anything. I was just talking to myself, that’s all.

- You are a weird girl Candy White, do you know that?

Candy White was a 17 year old girl, in her last year of high school. She had a cute face , only it was too cute for her age. She looked at least 2-3 years younger than her real age and was always daydreaming about stuff that every girl would dream about. She was a cheerful girl and never seemed to care about things, such as relationships and first kisses. That was because she had never left her guard down in front of the other girls or even her friends and so they would never know what this freckled, blonde, green-eyed girl would think of. She was a very good student, top of her class and very friendly. She would run to help everyone who needed her, but that was not the only thing about Candy. She, like all the other girls, deep down wanted a boyfriend to share her feelings with. A boyfriend who would care for her and smile for her and walk hands in hands with her. And so she had a crush on a boy in her school who happened to be one of the most popular guys…
But Candy preferred to watch him from afar. Talking to him or laughing with him was difficult for her to do. She would look at him but would never say anything. She preferred it that way. She was thinking that she was a coward not taking the first step but she was too shy and always thinking ‘what he would think about her. Would he understand in an instant that she likes him? What if he has a girlfriend? He would probably laugh at her and think that she was joking or something... Plus he seemed so normal and easy-going around the other girls, he confused her so much…She couldn’t tell what he was thinking…he seemed so careless…

- Oh man the meeting took so long… Only to decide on that trip on the lake. I feel so exhausted… “I better go, grab my things and go home…”

Candy was packing her things when she heard someone entering the classroom, while bouncing a basket – ball on the floor. Candy’s eyes became as wide as ever. It was him, it was Alex! Her heart started pounding like crazy. She couldn’t control it. Thus she continued packing her things and her books, pretending that she hadn’t noticed a thing.

“Will he talk to me? Will he look at me?”

- Yo, Candy.

- Oh hi Alex I didn’t hear you entering the classroom… Gym class? Candy said while showing him the ball in his hands.

- Yeah…

“Oh my God he’s talking to me. And he smiles!”

- I came back from a meeting so…

- Yes I know, Kate told me…

- Kate?

- Yes, she’s the class president in the other class.

- Oh yes, that’s right.

- Hey I’ve wanted to ask you about something.

- Yes sure.

- You see I have a problem with literature and you seemed like an expert would you help me?

- Sure, it’s fine. I’ll help you!

- Thanks Candy. I knew I could count on you.! Bye see you tomorrow.

- OK!

“What was that just now? We were talking and he seemed so normal. He even smiled for me in the end!”

In the next morning she woke up and spent 15 minutes thinking about what she would wear that day… After she decided she walked in the bathroom put on some light make-up and a nice natural lip gloss and decided to use a bit of the “White Musk” aroma she had bought the other day. She looked at herself and thought that today she seemed cute and charming.

She entered the school gates, boys and girls were walking back and forth finding their companies, laughing and chatting. She thought that today was one of the most sunny days and smiled at herself. Then she saw him, his silhouette, his blond hair…She felt that weird pain in her heart….she was used to that pain…She had noticed that it would appear whenever she would see him and that situation was going on for 2 months now. Maybe some more…she wanted to say “good morning” but he was with his friends and felt uneasy, so Candy just passed by.

“I wish you would see me and say “good morning” to me first…”

But that didn’t happen.
The time to help Alex with literature came and Candy was so nervous that she couldn’t think how she would react.

“I will play it comfortable and he will not notice my blush…”

- Hey Candy. Thank you so much that you decided to help me with this. I owe you.

- It’s nothing.

- It is… I feel like you save me right now from drowning.

- Oh come on now… Candy said and laughed. Alex was laughing too.

Alex was leaning towards her so he could see what she was writing on his notebook and that made her head spin. But she gathered her strength and did not let her guard down. He smelled nice…when…

- What kind of aroma are you wearing?

- Me?

- Yep.

- “White Musk” Candy said pretending it was too normal.

- Nice…It suits you. Alex said smiling.

Candy smiled back but inside her she was boiling! So what does the poet mean here? Alex asked bringing her back to reality.

- It’s pretty simple actually…he wants to show his feelings about love and passion and unrequited love…

And so the hour passed with Candy explaining and Alex trying to understand various things in poetry.
Candy was in her room recalling Alex’s face while he was asking for her aroma.

“I wish every day was like today. I can’t believe that he said that! I truly can’t! But if he cared about me wouldn’t he ask my number or something? Well what am I thinking; we only started talking two days ago. And I already feel so happy!”

The days were passing with Candy and Alex in the same routine. Literature sessions after classes and they used to talk about many things while he was taking back home. She couldn’t believe that this was happening to her. She was in 7th heaven…She told her friend Mary.

- From the things that you are telling me, I assume that he likes you, Candy.

- Really?!

- Well that’s what I think, it seems like he does.

- Oh I’m so happy! But he hasn’t asked my number yet.

- Really? That’s odd. If he liked you…

- Maybe he is shy when it comes to the girl he likes…

- Maybe…

- Oh, I’m waiting for the trip with such anxiety.

- Hahaha, you are a weird girl Candy.

- I know!

The trip finally arrived and while all the students were in their hotel rooms Alex knocked Candy’s door.

- Candy can I talk to you?

- Candy, I’m leaving. I’ll go get something to eat… Mary said and winked at her. Bye Alex.

- Bye Mary…

- What is it Alex? You seem down. Candy said.

- Candy you are a girl right?

- Well as far as I know…Candy said laughing. Alex smiled.

- In fact you are a very good girl Candy and I really need your advice. I see you as a good friend and I need you to help me.

“A good friend?! He sees me as a friend? My heart aches so much already. These words hurt like hell…”

- Sure, what is it? Candy said using all her strength.

- You know Kate more than I do. You were in the same middle school. Please tell me what can I do to make her like me?

“Kate? You like her, don’t you? She’s so lucky. The pieces of my broken dreams for you and me are stabbing my heart…such pain…I feel so much pain…”

- You like Kate? Alex had such a sad look in his eyes.

- I like her a lot…

- I’ll help you Alex…She is very romantic you know, so take it slowly…Confess to her but try not to scare her. Be gentle while telling her. And she loves white roses…Candy said while holding her tears inside.

- Thanks Candy. I knew I could count on you.

“This line…seems so different now…so distant…so painful”

- Good night Alex.

- Good night Candy and thanks again.

Candy closed the door behind her. She wanted to scream, cry, run away from that hotel. Mary got in.

- Well? How did it go?

- He likes Kate.

- What? He rejected you?

- I didn’t tell him anything. He came to ask me for some advice because I’m his good friend.

- Oh Candy, I’m so sorry.

- That’s ok. I’ll just forget it, forget how I felt.

- Can you really do that?

- I can…Besides that’s the good thing about me. I can forget a guy quickly. Candy said
smiling but inside she was crying.

- I really do admire you girlfriend.

- Oh yes, and besides there are so many guys out there. I’m only 17…I can find my first boyfriend…

- Yep!

Three days later Alex and Kate were a couple. Candy would see them from afar. Alex seemed so cheerful while whispering to Kate’s ear and she would giggle. Candy was aching but she couldn’t do a thing. She would look at them and feel depressed but she said to herself that she would forget about it That there is the one for her out there, somewhere…

Chapter 2 (to be continued)