This is not really a story. This is, I could say, kind of a "sitcom" smile.gif, where our CC character friends are aware they are the characters of the CC story. They also know the existence of the CC forums.
In every short chapter, our friends talk about something. This way, I can write down the silly dialogues that sometimes come to my mind... because it seems that I cannot stop doing that tongue.gif
I hope some smile will come out of this ...
A new invention
(Stair has a new invention to share with the other CC boys: Terry, Albert and Archie...)
- Hello guys, good to see all of you here! I cannot wait to show you my new amazing invention. Here it is!
- What is that, Stair?
- This is what I would call "the CC answering mirror", Albert. Well it is not a mirror, of course, but I took the idea from Snow White. In that story, the mirror tells the truth to the evil queen. Here, this machine can answer questions about our story. Any kind of question. Even "that person" related questions. So if we ask who Anohito is, the machine will answer, without leaving any room for doubts or interpretations!
- Wow! Really?! How??
- Guys, sorry not to jump for joy but... don't you think we should forget about Anohito, instead, and have some peace at last in this story?
- Oh, easy for you to say that, Archie, you are so lucky: you may be with a boring girl - well yes you cannot deny that she is, indeed, a little boring - but at least you know you are going to be stuck with her for the rest of your life!... I mean... I mean in a good way, of course... well, she is a nice girl, not funny, but nice... and cute... I mean I think you'll be happy with her, Archie, no doubts...
Well... how does your machine work, Stair?
- I'll show you, Terry. Archie, please don't listen to him and come here too, I want you to look at what I think is my best invention so far. I am so proud of it!
Now, do you all see these three holes? Well, during the past three weeks I put the words of Final Story, preface and postface and old novels included, plus all of the words of all the interviews to Mizuki in the biggest hole, then I put all the statements of all the Terryfans in this other hole and, finally, I took the words of all the alfans and put them in the last hole. It was a veeery long and complicated job, fans really write a lot!
Now here is how it works: when we ask a question, the machine selects all the useful informations it finds, related to it, and then it creates a synthesis based on those and... voilą: the answer appears on this display!
- Incredible, Stair! And does it really work? I mean, have you already tried it?
- Well, I've just asked small questions so far, Terry, and it worked perfectly! I asked, for example, "who is the most brilliant science boy of CC?" and it said "The guy with glasses who invents stuff", which of course means me. Or..."who is the most elegant person of the story?", and the answer was "The blond guy, brother of the inventor", which of course refers to Archie. But I wanted to wait for all of you to witness the moment when I ask The Big Question: who is Anohito?
- Well Stair, I am officially amazed and intrigued, this time! Really, truly, absolutely intrigued! So, let's go ahead and ask The Big One: who is Anohito?
- All right, thank you Albert. Come closer guys. Are you all ready? Archie, please pay attention too. You'll see, this is amazing... Okay, moment of truth... I feel a little nervous, don't you, guys? So I write on the display: WHO IS ANOHITO?... And the answer is... it takes a little while to select the informations it needs to find out the answer... but here it comes, already, look! So Anohito is "The one who opens his arms to hold Candy at the end of CCFS"
- Oh finally, Stair: now we know!
- Okay, Archie, I get you: this is not useful! But can't you be a little supportive? Do you think it is easy to make a machine as sophisticated as this? Scientific inventions need time to be tested and they have to be improved little by little. Do you think the gut who invented the car or... the horse got all of it at once?! Anyway, this is easy to solve, I just have to add a function in the program in order to make the machine avoid obvious and useless answers. It will only take a few minutes.
- Sorry brother. It's just that I am used to your inventions... Moreover, what do I care who Anohito is? I am stuck with a boring nice girl for the rest of my life anyway, like Terry pointed out! sad.gif
- Come on, don't say that, Archie. Listen, I think Terry was wrong before. I mean, all right, Annie may be a little boring, but at least you know you will not waste your time having fun with her! I mean you will not be distracted from your work, or from fashion, and you will become an elegant business man... Right? Why do you make such a face, now? It is so hard to cheer you up, Archie! Do you think our life is better? Do you think it is funny for Terry and me to be in this Anohito "competition"? To bear the pressure of our fans who fight endlessly to establish which one of us...
- Albert, guys, the machine is ready. Care to try again?
- Oh yes, I so want to try! Albert is right: I am sick of this Anohito uncertainty too! May I write the question myself this time, Stair?... So... WHO IS ANOHITO?... Wow, it is still writing the answer! So Anohito is..."the prince charming of CC story"
- It's me!
- What?! Why you, Albert?
- I am the prince of the hill, hello!?
- Yes, but I am the charming one! Charming, fascinating, hot... The prince charming is a symbol, like one of the archetypes, and it means The One. This is a vague answer, open to interpretations, like in the novel! That is why they fight so hard in the forums!
- Okay, okay, you may be quite right about that, Terry...
May we try again, Stair? Obviously this answer still leaves room for doubts, you see?
- Well, yes, it's true. No problem. We are going to ask again: WHO IS ANOHITO? And this time the answer is... it takes a little longer, maybe it is digging deeper... "The man who sometimes pretends to be what he is not".
- Why you, Terry?
- I am an actor! I pretend to be a different someone every time I act!
- Well I pretended to be a vagabond when I was a millionaire, I pretended to be just a friend when I was the Great Oncle William of the hill...
- All right, all right, Albert, it's true. It still doesn't work, Stair! Why is your machine so enigmatic? It does not really answer, it tells us a hint and leaves us the task to guess the answer, just like final story! Why can't we just have a clear, simple name here?!
- I know, Terry, I am as surprised as you are! This seems to be out of my program's control. I don't get it! Maybe there is some secrecy "pact" in this story, as far as Anohito is concerned.... Or maybe there was a mistake in my program, so instead of answering, the machine is, somehow, stressing what the two Anohito contestants have in commun. Or maybe the problem is somewhere else, I don't know, guys. I will work on it, I promise!
Let me try just once more, please. WHO IS ANOHITO?... "The one who left London when Candy was at Saint Paul's"
- I did! It was such a dramatic moment of my life! My fans were crying so hard!
- Yes, but I left London too, Terry!
- See? I was right, after all: let's forget my brother's new invention, as well as Anohito, so our life can go on.
- I think Archie is right this time, Terry. We are back where we were: you are The One in the Terryfans forums, I am The One in the Alfans forums and, meanwhile, Candy is by the river Avon, all happy with Anohito.
- Yes Albert, back to be just the kings of our forums sad.gif...
- Yeah, and I'll go back to my silly- inventor-who-invents-useless-things-that-do-not-work-place sad.gif...
- And I'm going to remain the elegant boy who is engaged to a quite boring nice girl sad.gif...
Hey, Stair, can I ask your machine if Annie has, maybe, a funnier sister or friend?
- Of course she has, Archie: it's Candy! But you know you have no hope with her!
- I hate this Archie life!
Go to the top of the pageReport Post
(In this chapter we only meet Terry and Albert, who are not at all talking about Anohito )
The first time
- I was thinking, Albert: in the forum, the fans talk a lot about us. Always. I was wondering: why don't we?
- What do you mean, Terry? Isn't it all we do.
- No, not really. We hang out and have fun sometimes, we fight some other times, we talk about Anohito, which is me but we are not one hundred percent sure, we try to figure things out by reading Final Story, we talk about the forum fans, their posts or fan fictions, we try to reach them and we happen to celebrate some of their birthdays... But we do not talk about our life, our experiences, our thoughts, our feelings...
- Oh, I see what you mean now, Terry... And you're right. I mean, you're absolutely right: you're my best friend, but I know so little of your life directly from you. What I know about you, is what I read about you in books or forums!
- Yes, that is exactly what I mean, Albert! This is so upside-down, isn't it? We are here, this is our life! We should say stuff about that, instead of only listening to what others. Moreover, it could also be interesting for our fans, to listen to us talking about us!
- Yes, I guess. It depends on what we say, of course. Okay Terry, I have something in mind, something I'd like to talk with you about, like all best friends do: our first time!
- First time? Oh you mean... that first time?
- Yes Terry, friends do talk about that kind of things, don't they? And I think we should talk about your first time today. You go first, it's only fair, this is a Candy&Terry forum, after all.
- All right, Albert, let's talk about that! Wow, this is so exciting! The first time I had sex! Let me go get two beers, like all best friends do...
Here we go, I found some potato chips as well. So, we are ready to start... What do you know about the subject, Albert?
- What, me? But... I know nothing, Terry!
- So why did you choose a topic you know nothing about?
- Well, because it's interesting... and because it's about you, so you are the one who should know everything about it, Terry!
- Me? But no, I don't know anything about that either! That is why I was so excited that you brough that topic up: I was hoping you had maybe heard some rumors about my first time and wanted to share them with me because, honestly, I missed it!
- What do you mean you missed it?
- Well... of course I mean it happened between the lines, you know?
- Oh that's right... God, Terry, my friend, I hate this between-the-lines thing so much, you have no idea! I don't even have any clue about my first kiss. I am old enough to have had my first kiss, right? And a girlfriend, a first time, maybe a wife, etc... How come I know nothing about all this?
- Yeah, I am sorry for you too, Albert. Actually your situation is sadder than mine. But I guess yours is an adventurous life, full of passionate love stories all around the world... Women of all countries and colours. Different languages... Beautiful, exotic experiences... until your heart starts to beat faster for her, your special someone. I picture her as a southamerican woman... a scientist maybe, who loves animals and nature as much as you do.
- Oh, I'd love that! A woman with a Spanish accent, who can speak English pretty well, but she says things in Spanish when she is angry and we fight. And she is so sexy when she does that, that we stop fighting and start making out. Wow, what a beautiful life! And she shares my passion for nature... Oh, I love that!
You know what, Terry? I like this, I mean what we are doing now. This is fun: we can make things up. I mean what we do not know about our life, we make that up just the way we would want it to be! So I am going to think about my meeting, first kiss and more with that Spanish talking lady, and now you let your fantasy run and tell me about your first time with Candy. Okay?
- Okay, Albert. This is not hard to do at all, I've lived the scene like a million times in my head, you know? Here goes:
"Candy was naked..."
- Already? But how did you two get there? Aren't you going to tell me?
- Oh, it's a long story, Albert. If you must know, Candy had to take her clothes off because she had fallen into a lake, so they were wet.
- What? Where were you? I thought it your romantic and passionate wedding night, in a cozy house full of candles, fire in the chimney, with some good music...
- No, Albert. You take that stuff for your own first time. Mine is outdoors, by a lake in Scotland, during a summer of many many years ago, when we were still attending school...
- No, no! You cannot change history, Terry. You did not have sex with Candy back then. It did not happen. The between-the-lines we fill with our fantasy cannot be against the actual lines of the story. That is a rule, okay? And it has not to be narrated like we were two guys in a pub, but in a poetic and romantic style, the way ladies can enjoy it too: this is the Candy&Terry forum, after all!
- Okay, Albert, I didn't know you were so serious! I'll change it a little bit and I'll put some poetry in the situation, don't worry. So... let's say "it was a few years ago. Candy had replied to the letter I sent her after Susannah's death, inviting me to visit her. We went out for a walk by the rivers of a beautiful lake, surrounded by tall trees. The ground was covered by automn leaves. In fact, it was automn" - because the forum ladies also care for accuracy, not only for poetry, Albert. Anyway, "the colours were so beautiful... Candy, following the dance of a red leaf led by the wind, fell into the water. I bursted out laughing and I couldn't refrain myself to tease her, saying things like "after all these years, like I wrote in my letter, nothing has changed, Freckles: you are still so clumsy!". Then, when I realized she wasn't able to come out of the water by herself, I gave her my hand and helped her. She thanked me, keeping her wet and freezing hand in my dry and warm hand. There she was, all wet. I suddenly realized that I could see the shape of her body. I gave her one of my sexiest smiles and she blushed violently. It was cold, so she had to remove her wet clothes... Candy was naked now..."
- But this way she's going be colder still...
- It is all part a bigger plan, Albert, trust me, I know what I'm doing. "I saw she was freezing, so I removed my clothes too..."
- But how is this going to help, Terry? Now you're both freezing!
- Yes, but we are both naked too, which is quite useful, given that we have to do what you know, don't you think? I cannot be overpoetic, Albert, I did build a romantic scene, now may I get to the point? I will still put some poetic concepts, here and there, don't worry. I know what the forum ladies want too: poetry, romance, accuracy and realism. I'll take care of all that. So..."I took her in my arms. She was shaking so bad! I could not tell if it was for the cold or the emotion, but suddenly I felt her arms around me, holding me back, strongly. I heard her whisper in my ear words I could not understand, because her voice was trambling too. She was so beautiful, surrounded by leaves of different shades of green and red. Her skin was..."... but you're her father!
- Albert, I just realized that you're her adoptive father! I cannot have this conversation with you, it's twisted!
- Oh my God... you're right, Terry... I was not thinking about that! Oh no! I have to remove that sick picture of the naked two of you surrounded by leaves from my head immediately! This is too weird! Moreover, the fans would not like you to talk this way about Candy with me, her adoptive father: this is the candy&Terry forum, after all!
However, I must say that the situation you created is quite good...
I tell you what we can do: you can use a nickname for Candy, so I won't picture her in that spicy situation. She could be... Sandy.
- Sandy? All right, if you think this can work as a solution..."So Sandy was naked. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her green eyes were shining like emeralds. Her golden reddish hair were... well actually they were wet, so I could not really see their real colour..., her trembling hands were so cold that I took them in mine and kissed them, while I was staring at the naked body of my loved one, Sandy, thinking that our time had finally come to discover the natural, universal and physical dance of love...
- What?! You are about to have sex with some Sandy?!
- No, with Candy!
- Oh but I don't want to hear about that, it's too weird, I told you!
- That is why we came up with Sandy, Albert.
- I know, I know. But it's still not working... Let me think: I cannot picture you with Candy, it's too weird. But if I picture you with Sandy, I feel bad for Candy. So I can only think of one solution: all we can do is choose a nickname for you too. You are going to be Jerry.
- I don't like Jerry.
- Who cares? You're not the one who's going to have sex with him, anyway.
- All right, we're staying with your Jerry, as long as you let me finish, I start to get tired of this. "Sandy was so shy: she had never seen a naked man before. And the man who was standing in front of her, holding her in his arms, admiring the contrast between her pale skin and the red leaves that surrounded he, was way more handsome in his natural state than she had ever imagined. She could not help staring at him and admiring his strong body, touching and feeling it. So she started to caress his hair, his cheek, his neck, his arm, his hand, that she kissed with passion, admiring the similarity of the colour of his eyes and the blue sky above them...". Poetic, don't you think? "So they were both touching their bodies and admiring some contrast... Jerry was finally happy: at last, the woman he had loved since the first glance, so many years before, was about to be his. She was there, with him, in love, naked. They were together again, feeling the intimacy of their love like never before. After so many years of separation, Jerry could finally hold his Sandy...
- Yes but... who cares about those two: this is the Candy&Terry forum, after all!
- Okay Albert, that's it! I give up! And now, given that listening is not your thing, let's see if you are better at narrating! Your turn, man: your first time!
- I don't see why you are so mad, now, Terry. I was just saying that it is a little boring, in the Candy and Terry forum, to talk about other people, that's all...
All right, my first time...:"I was naked...
- You and...?
- You and me?!
- No! What are you thinking, Terry?! Not you and me: me! You said you, I said me! Please just listen: "I was naked... alone... waiting for someone to talk to me in Spanish...
- But, Albert, you don't even have a woman? How can this be a first time?
- I don't know, I was hoping that some good idea would cross my mind but... my imagination is flat at the moment. It's because you took me by surprise, I had no time to think about the details of my story, I was listening to yours!
- All right, Albert, we'll talk about that some other time. Now let's just finish our beer, quietly.
- Yes, that is probably a good idea. I did enjoy your story, though. So romantic and realistic... And it is not so bad that I haven't told you mine, it could have been quite boring: this is the Candy&Terry forum, after all...