Albert's First Session with Dr. Tracy
by Bulma-chan
It's been at least a few years
since Dr. Tracy left Candyworld to escape the neurotic Candyfans with their
endless psychotic candyproblems! She hoped never to return, but due to
a lack of funds and handsome bishounens, she has reclaimed her place as
Candyworld's wacky psychiatrist to counsel the more urgent problems of some of the anime characters!
(Disclaimer: Dr. Tracy is a character created by David. E. Kelley for the comedy TV series, "Ally McBeal")
Dr. Tracy: So you like animals...
Albert: Yes I
love freedom, animals, traveling all around the world...
Dr. Tracy: And I've
heard you have a skunk.
Albert: Yes, he is my best friend.
Dr.
Tracy: Explain that concept, Handsome, because otherwise my mind goes to the
gutter. Albert: He goes everywhere with me, he is a good listener, he is
nice, we sleep together.
Dr. Tracy: 
(starts
writing notes like crazy) So
you're together right?
Albert: Together-- well yes, we're
friends. Dr. Tracy: (puts both index fingers together to explain) When
I say together, I mean 'together' as you know... like you two could be the
stars of Brokeback Mountain, but instead of two men it would be a man and his
skunk. Albert: (stands up and hits fist on the table) How dare
you! Dr. Tracy: Okay, okay Handsome, no need to get rude, unless you wanna
be rude in some other way with me! 
Now... you adopted that freckled girl
who has psycho problems with that other handsome, wacko Terry Grandchester,
right? Albert: Yes, Candy.
Dr. Tracy: (taking more notes) And some
people say that you have a love interest in her, do you find that
normal? Albert: Eh well, why not? We are not blood related.
Dr.
Tracy: But you adopted her (uses remote control to slide Albert's chair towards
the desk so she could look into his eyes)... that's not normal, Handsome.
Albert: But she understands me, she is a good friend, she is
always with me, she is a good listener, she is nice, and we've shared a dept.
Dr. Tracy: Are we talking about the stinky skunk again or about Miss
Freckles and Tarzan-wannabe? 
Albert: 
Are you sure you're the doctor? I think I better go and
tell my problems to Poupé. (walks out of the room)
Dr. Tracy: (to
secretary) Please charge him double, he has the money after all, and please come
and open the windows and bring some air deodorizer because that man may be handsome, but
boy does he stink!