PROFESSOR VOSTOK’S FLYING TOASTERS
02Jan 2001, 01:35 AM, somewhere in Siberia
INTERIOR: Underground laboratory
Professor Vos is lying in an armchair near the desk filled with dusty electronics.
Professor Vos: Umino!
Professor Vos: UMINO!!!
Professor Vos: UMINOOOOOO! COME HERE, YOU IDIOT!!!
Umino: (Comes running, pulling his pants up, holding a playboy magazine in his left hand) Yes, sir?!?
Professor Vos: How many times did I tell you? Don't call me 'sir'. 'Your Highness' will be enough.
Umino: Yes, Your Highness!
Professor Vos: (looking at Umino's right hand) Come with me… and remind me not to shake hands with you in the near future.
Umino: Yes, sir!
They arrive in the large, dimly illuminated underground hall. Professor Vos loudly flips on the light switch to reveal a large, wardrobe-looking machine in the center.
Professor Vos: Look, Umino. I don't think that you know what this device is for. This is my newest achievement, a FRONGOLIZER II, a device that is capable of magnifying all living creatures and things to unbelievable size! People are going to love me for this!! (drooling) Imagine, imagine a bean which is big like an apple! Imagine an apple that is large like a watermelon! (major drooling) Imagine a gold coin which is large like a truck's wheel!!By the way, this machine makes some really good coffee. (Professor's look suddenly wanders off to Umino's right hand) *sour grin* Besides, this machine could be very helpful to you as well.
Umino: But then... what does this thing have to do with me?
Professor Vos: I knew you'd say this. To activate the Frongolizer, we need seven PokeyBalls which are scattered all over the world. No one has been able to collect all seven PokeyBalls yet, but the old legend says that, once all PokeyBalls are collected, a great pink elephant will appear who'll offer you a magic cigar. Whoever smokes that cigar will get three wishes.
Umino: Aaaaahh, I think I understand. One of your wishes will be to make the Frongolizer work, right?
Professor Vos: Right.
Umino: (thinking) But then... why did you build such a large machine when you need a wish to make it work? Don't you think that it would be easier to simply wish a working Frongolizer once you've smoked the cigar?
Professor Vos: (blush) Umh.. yeah.. but this machine makes a great coffee…
Umino: It's a vending machine, right?
Professor Vos: Yes, YES, IT'S A FUCKING VENDING MACHINE, alright?!?!?
Umino: Hehehe...(thinking) I just love it when he's like this...
Professor Vos: (thinking) I just hate it when he's like this! Heavens, WHY did I choose him as an assistant???
Umino: Well, did you drag me here only to show me your vending machine?
Professor Vos: Umh... no. I wanted to consult with you on whom we will take with us on our expedition around the world.
Umino: O_O What??
Professor Vos: We must choose several fine and talented people who will be of use to us on our search for the seven PokeyBalls around the world.
Umino: I see.
Professor Vos: First of all, I suggest that we take Son Goku with us. If we ever run into some problems, or if we stumble upon a can of beans (yum) that just won't open, he'll be there to help us out.
Umino: I see.
Professor Vos: Then, I suggest that we take Master Roshi with us. His intellect and fighting skills could also be of use to us.
Umino: I see.
Professor Vos: We also need Professor Amy, and…
Umino: (grin) Aha, I see.
Professor Vos: (sweatdrops) ...AAAh, tell me, how you suddenly got so smart, ha???
Umino: (major sweatdrops) No, uh… I just wanted to say that…
Professor Vos: (face all red, taking out an extending cane from his jacket) I know precisely what you meant!
Umino: Your Highness! No! Not again!!
Professor Vos: (threatening Umino with a cane) Watch your mouth, shorty!
Umino: (MAJOR sweatdrops) Okay, okay..! May I suggest someone for this expedition?
Professor Vos: You may not.
Umino: I see.
Professor Vos: (pinpointing cane at Umino's head) You said?
Umino: (major sweatdrops) Thee.. heee... ehehehe.. nn... nothing.
Professor Vos: Now, I was saying, we need more people for our expedition. We will take Nila, Alys, Patty and Secret Agent Lena with ourselves, and perhaps, other important people if we happen to stumble upon them on our journey.
Umino: Hey… wait a minute. Aren't they still Pikachus?
Professor Vos: Well... I don't know for sure. I think they're normal now, unless they've gotten infected with a pokeyman virus again.
Umino: But explain one thing to me. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK all those people will go with you and risk their lives just to make your Frongolizer work?
Professor Vos: I will use only one wish from the cigar. Other two wishes will be granted to my companions. And, if there’s a need for more wishes, my last wish can be - two more wishes!! ^_^
Umino: Aha… and… how are you going to find Son Goku and the others?
Professor Vos: Heh, that will be easy. (Takes out a calculator from the pocket) Here, this is an Elektronika MK-90 microcomputer. With a several adjustments of mine, this device is now, in fact, a DragonBall radar, which will show us the way to the Kame House.
Umino: And… what if Son Goku is not on the island?
Professor Vos: (aims the cane at Umino) Then it will be all your fault, you retard!
Umino: (sweatdrops) Umh… you said… several other people might join us on this journey. Who?
Professor Vos: I don't know precisely at this time. I'm sure that the girls would like to take several bishies with them to keep them warm… I dunno.
Umino: And how are you going to find the PokeyBalls?
Professor Vos: (smile) Heh, Umino, ol' Professor has a solution to that problem too.
Umino: (thinking) Boy, he's gonna start bragging about his machines again. Kami-sama, where did I go wrong in my life??
Professor Vos: (takes out another calculator from his pocket) Now, watch this. Originally, this machine was an Elektronika MK-98 calculator, but I've managed to rig it (by pouring some beer inside) in such way that it's now a PokeyBall radar!
Professor Vos: Yeah, nice, but...
Professor Vos: This machine is potentially very dangerous. It seems, that under some certain conditions I wasn't able to define yet, this machine can perform some very erratic and dangerous actions. Remember the ol' Sparky?
Umino: That stray dog that wandered around the lab for the last two months?
Professor Vos: Precisely. Two weeks ago, that dog was barking in front of my laboratory window. He must have smelt the garlic sausages (yum) I had for lunch so he came to get some. Anyway, I got so pissed off at his barking that I threw the MK-98 machine through the window and smacked the dog on its head.
Umino: And? What happened?
Professor Vos: Well… there was a sudden flash of light.
Umino: (anxious) And!?
Professor Vos: Well, I knew you liked this dog. You even gave him a name...
Umino: What happened to the dog!?!?
Professor Vos: (sweatdrops) Umm… well… the dog suddenly turned OLD.
Professor Vos: Well… yeah. Ol' Sparky REALLY became OL' Sparky. And… I haven't seen him in the last couple of days… maybe he died out of old age already.
Professor Vos: Hey, hey, come on. At least the machine was not damaged.
Umino: So you're saying, if you throw an MK-98 onto someone's head, that person will grow old?
Professor Vos: Likely. I haven't tried that on humans… YET (chilling eye-to-eye contact).
Umino: (major sweatdrops) Umh… well… you don't need to try it out n… nnow, r…right??
Professor Vos: (smiles) Okay. We'll have plenty of time to do that later, or… IF something happens to my cane (sour grin).
Umino: (sweatdrops) Okay, okay!
Professor Vos: (lighting a cigarette) As I was saying, our search will not be easy. I know that the first PokeyBall is in possession of an ugly and evil count Nestor, who's also a vampire.
Umino: O_O A VAMPIRE!?!?!?!?!
Professor Vos: Yeah, those bat-flying, blood-sucking things that come out only during the night!
Umino: (sweatdrops) Maa a a ajorrr buu mm mmerrrrsss..!!
Professor Vos: (blowing up a puff of smoke) Yeah, major bummers, if you want to call it that way. Once we gather ourselves, we will pay a visit to Count Nestor. Just pray we won't be there during the night.
Umino: (muttering prayers)
Professor Vos: (smiling) Hey, save that for the time we get to Transylvania. Friends again?
Umino: (quick thinking) Okay. Let's shake hands.
Professor Vos: Okay. (A firm handshake) Okay, let's go now! There is a big adventure waiting for us!
Both leave the room. Professor Vos shuts down the light before leaving.
Narrator: And so, our story begins...
*5 minutes later*
Professor Vos: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY HAND!!!!!!!
END OF PROLOGUE